Up At School and Up To Date

Well yes, I have not written on my blog since the 7th week break but hey what can I say, I have been quite busy with my last semester of school. It has been a rough semester for obvious reason, but I make due with what it going on and I try to stay bright and positive about the amazing things that may have to come. This blog will be the first place that I admit this online, but I am in love! I have been for a while now, but I do love Kyle Walker Johnson. It just kinda crept up on me, but I can't help that he is an amazing person and just makes me more happy than can be, and takes such good care of me.

For the past little bit I find myself so moody and upset but I think that is what is to be expected. I have no where and no place to take out my anger. I am so angry and upset about what has happened, but I guess that was the plan and there is only so much that I can expect and understand for now. I miss my dad. I miss knowing that he will no longer be at home. I miss his lectures and I miss his constant care and concern. I miss talking to him on the phone and I miss making fun of him. I miss the motorcycle rides and I miss going to navuoo and shooting guns with him. I miss his smile, I miss his face. I miss hard working abilities. I miss his questions. I hate how he won't be at my graduation and I hate how I will have no dad for my wedding. I hate how he won't be a grandparent and I hate how my mom is alone. I hate how my sister is growing up without a father and I hate that I am 21 and father-less. I hate how he was getting better and I hate cancer. I hate how the last time I talked to him was in my room when he dropped me off for school. I hate how I never got to say goodbye. I hate the fact that he is gone. I hate how my brother is the only boy in the family now and I hate how he won't guide me in life anymore. I hate how he is no longer my sounding board and I hate how he never bought my car with me. I hate how I miss him and I hate that I can't see him. I miss my dad.